'Burbs I Belong To: Buffy the Journal Slayer and I Quit.

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2001-02-28 - 14:53:45

Ahhh... It is with a deep sigh of relief that I bid farewell to February. Not that I don't like the month, it is just way too busy. Just about all the people I love the most are born this month. It is enough to wear a person out.

Cor's birthday went really well. I was able to surprise him 100% on his gift. I got him a DVD of Koyannasqatsi (too expensive and not especially easy to get). Since we don't have a DVD player, he just kind of looked at it and wasn't entirely sure what it was, especially since he already has the sound track on CD. Once it dawned on him that he was holding his very own copy of the movie, he did a very cute Cor Happy Dance.

It made me feel so good to be able to give him something that he really wanted. And now comes the big bonus, he wants to buy a DVD player in the next couple of weeks.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how my life will change when I finally reach my goal weight. I have come to the conclusion that there won't be any earth-shattering changes. I will just finally be comfortable in my own skin.

Right now I often feel like I am lumbering about in somebody else's body. For the most part it does what I want it to, but sometimes it just refuses to move the way I remember being able to move. Happily, as I steadily whittle away at my fat, I am regaining movement and flexibility and strength. This is a very good thing.

Every week I am feeling more and more like the person I used to be. That person is the thin girl that for several years had to take up residence in a far corner of my mind. She is tired of that and ready to come to the forefront. All I can say is that it is about time!

I am finding that as I become more and more comfortable with my physical self, that I am also more confident and better able to handle whatever situation comes my way. This boost in confidence and self esteem is so priceless.

If I could help someone else to have a break through and realize that they can be happy with who they are both on the outside and the inside, I would feel like I had actually contributed to the welfare of the world. To realize that you can truly accomplish what you set your mind on, is the first step to making the world a better place. I want to do that, or enable someone else to.

I think that is the same reason that I want to teach college kids. I want to be a part of the process that sparks a mind just as it is on the cusp of achieving great things.

Even though I am ready to go out and conquer the world and achieve my goals, I have to wait for the State College system to finish processing my application and accept me. According to them, this is a process of at least 30 business days. I am stuck cooling my heels while the cogs of the vast machinery turn.

Maybe if we all send hurry up already vibes to the admission department they will get back to me a little sooner!

Until Next Time...

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