2002-05-20 - 4:14 p.m.

I haven't been writing lately because I have been going through some pretty serious relationship turbulence with Cor. We are still together, we are going to counseling, and we are trying very hard to patch things up. It has been incredibly draining emotionally and physically - especially combined with having to keep up with school work.

I am not sure yet how much of the nitty gritty is going to get posted up here. I don't want to do anything or say anything that might jeopardize all of the hard work I am doing right now to save my relationship. So, I think it is enough, for now, to just let y'all know that I am sad right now. I am going to be making a concerted effort to post more regularly. It does wonders for me to get my thoughts out of my head.

So, instead of talking about all the "us" issues in my life, I will just talk about the me issues. After all, this journal is all about me - why else would I be writing it?

Lately I have been very, very, very stressed out. Given all that I sort of told you, this is most likely not much of a surprise. Part of the couples counseling is solo sessions with the therapist. I started to tell her about some of my stress and was able to get a "prescription" for a series of 5 weeks of stress management classes.

They meet once a week starting this Wednesday. I am so excited to be going to this. It is a small beacon of hope for me. Hope that I will stop waking up in the middle of the night because my body aches from the stress. Hope that I will become more skillful at prioritizing and managing my time. Hope that I will be a more enjoyable person to be around because I just might learn how to relax!

At any rate, I am alive and hanging in there. Hopefully I will be writing more. Hopefully I will be writing about things gradually improving. Please keep your fingers crossed for me and for us.

Until Next Time...

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