2002-10-23 - 2:17 p.m.
There may be more than one entry today, I have time to be ambitious - my class was cancelled.
Do you hear it? Me either – it is blessedly silent around here today. The drama seems to be subsiding. I can’t begin to tell you how happy that makes me. It has been really hard for me to watch how upset all of the recent drama has made Cor. How do you make a person feel better when they tell you they feel like they are in the middle of a raging and overwhelming whirl pool?
I try to reassure him that as time goes on, life will get easier. But somehow the words ring hollow, even to me. While I do know that things will change and get better, it is very hard to tell someone else that without sounding superior and patronizing. I think I keep telling him because I can see that from his perspective he is standing at the precipice of a very steep and dangerous cliff. From my perspective he is standing at a place where he can catch the wind and fly. I know that Cor will find the strength and confidence to trust himself and test his wings.
I went to the dentist yesterday. I hate going to the dentist. I hate it because every time I go my mouth hurts for at least the next 24 hours. For the first time ever, I had a cleaning that didn’t make me want to cry. Bless Mariah! She is the greatest hygienist that has ever worked in my mouth. She was as gentle as it was possible to be. She used an ultrasonic scraper thing that hurt less than the traditional hand scrapers. The other good thing – she only cleaned the bottom half of my mouth. Next month I will go back for the top half, knowing that I wouldn’t have to squirm through hours of cleaning made it much easier to deal with. And best of all, she kept up a running commentary of interesting stories that helped keep my mind off of the horrible scraping going on in my mouth. I can’t say that I am looking forward to my next visit, but at least for the first time in my life I am not dreading it. I would unreservedly recommend my dentist – e-mail me if you want her information.
I am finally getting back on track with my eating. I had a really rough time with keeping my weight in control for the last few months. I needed a really big kick in the pants to get myself headed in the right direction. My territory manager was kind enough to provide that kick for me. She took away one of my meetings until I get back to an acceptable weight.
What motivation! Suddenly I am able to turn down fatty foods that until very recently sang siren songs to me. Now I am salad girl, and really enjoying it. I am beginning to feel so much better. Having logged some weight loss is nice, but the way I feel on the inside is even better.
For the first time in at least 6 months I am feeling like I will actually be able to achieve the personal weight loss goals I have set for myself. I really dig this empowered feeling. Go me!
Until Next Time…