2001-05-09 - 10:10 a.m.

Hello. Yes, I am still alive. Fortunately I am in pretty constant contact with the readers that I know so no one seemed too worried about my very long silence.

Now I am back and feeling much more disposed to talking than I had been in quite some time. Nothing truly earth shattering has been going on in my life, I just needed some time to catch my breath and be. Does that make sense?

I have kept myself busy and mostly out of trouble for the past few months. I am feeling refreshed and have a much better attitude towards just about every aspect of my life.

In many small ways I am feeling like a changed woman. And that is a very good thing. I have done a thing or two that have made me feel quite transformed. Not the least of which is the rapid approach of the 50 pound mark in my weight loss.

I seem to have fallen into a bit of a plateau the last few weeks. I am more ok with it than I ever thought I would be. My body seems to be doing some redistribution that is quite amazing. My clothes are fitting better and even getting looser, with the scale not budging. So, I am trying to keep the numbers in perspective and revel in the fact that people are REALLY noticing the weight loss.

It is such a shot in the arm to have people gush over how good I look. I know that is very petty, but I need it in ways that I can't explain. I spent too long feeling awful about myself. Every time someone notices that I have lost weight and that I am looking so much better, it is another nail in the fat-girl coffin.

I also finally bit the bullet and handed in my resignation effective June 1. The Boss handled it much better than I thought he would. He just looked sad and was very quiet for the rest of the afternoon.

I may be a little sad about leaving, but it is by far the best thing that I could do for myself.

It is good to be back.

Until Next Time...

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