'Burbs I Belong To: Buffy the Journal Slayer and I Quit.

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2002-10-22 - 11:52 a.m.

Do you ever have the kind of weekend that makes you want to take a fork to your eyes, or better yet to someone else’s? That was my weekend, only it filtered into my Monday. Oh the drama. The drama has been suffocating me. Just now I am finally able to breathe. Of course as I am writing this it is still fairly early. Quite frankly I am scared about what the day might bring. I seem to have traded my freak magnet for a drama magnet. Although, they may just be different sides of the same coin.

Here is the situation (please forgive me if it makes you want to commit violent acts with a fork). As you know, Cor and I have begun dancing a courtship dance. As you also know we had a very dark period – so dark that we were split up for several months. I didn’t talk about it here very much because I was too hurt and too angry about the whole situation to write anything that wasn’t vitriolic spewing. Anyway, with time comes clarity.

Clarity is important to this story. If Cor hadn’t achieved a great level of clarity, well we wouldn’t be dancing, and I wouldn’t have become a part of the weekend drama. If I hadn’t achieved a new level of clarity, I wouldn’t have been able to see how bright my love burns for him.

Part of achieving clarity for Cor was realizing he had made a huge mistake when he left me. Part of that clarity also meant realizing that his new girlfriend was a very big mistake. Yes, his new girl friend. The new girlfriend that he moved in with. Do you see the potential for ugliness just growing and growing? Now throw in a cancelled hand-fasting and a generous dollop of looniness on her side and you can begin to see why the weekend was crazy.

Cor has been in the process of moving his stuff out of her place. This has not made her happy. As a matter of fact it has made her float between mean and stalkerish. Depending on the feeling of the moment, she calls him or text messages him saying things like “I am scared of you. I refuse to be in the house alone with you.” Then moves on to, “I still love you. I miss you so much. Please can’t we talk?” My personal favorite was all about sleeping on the couch so that she could smell him. In the right context that could be sweet, but when it is combined with all of the other statements it just gets creepy.

Also creepy is the cozying up to our social group. Cor and I have a significant group of friends that we share. Ever since they broke up she has been calling and e-mailing and basically doing everything she can to insinuate herself into the group. Again, this is fairly innocuous – until you see that she didn’t start attempting friendship until after they broke up.

She most definitely has an agenda. I don’t know exactly what it is, but I am pretty sure that it has something to do with punishing Cor. I am trying to pull back enough to not to be involved in their drama.

She got me involved this weekend though. She managed to talk one of our friend’s into an invitation to MY birthday party. Can you imagine? When I found out, I had to tell my friend that if she was going to be there, I wouldn’t. I can’t imagine trying to have fun at my own birthday party with someone there who makes me so uncomfortable. I felt like a real heel telling my friend how I felt. It created unnecessary drama at her house. But you know what? There are some things I just can’t be accommodating about, at least not where my birthday party is concerned.

Out of consideration to her, we have kept our budding courtship quiet around our group of friends. The idea has never been to hurt her. Well, she did some snooping yesterday and found out that he still loved me and was going to be working hard to earn back my love and trust. Of course this hurt her and made her unhappy. Her response though? Her response was to leave him a voice mail stating that all of his stuff would be thrown out on the front lawn on Wednesday night. Ending with a snotty good luck in getting it all (Cor has a tiny car).

I don’t care how upset you are – that sort of behavior is childish and smacks of melodrama. If she really loves him and really wants him to be a part of her life, wouldn’t it be in her best interest to be as kind to him as possible?

I got caught up in all of this because of the emotional toll it was taking on Cor. If she has been trying to push him over the edge, well she has come close. I know she can’t see it, but it hasn’t been easy for Cor to extricate himself. He feels bad that she is hurting. Because he feels bad, all of her loony behavior has hit him hard.

I just hope that on Wednesday, after all of his stuff is out of her place, that she will fade away. I hope that she will move forward. That way Cor and I can move forward with our lives in an atmosphere that is as free of drama as possible.

Until Next Time...


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